He Gives and Takes Away

"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21b) Never have I so profoundly experienced this truth as I did yesterday. It was Rick's birthday - the third I've had to celebrate without him. He would have been 37. My mom and I go kayaking - something he loved to do, but that we never got to do with him - every year to celebrate him on his special day. We also had barbecue and carrot cake in his honor. I know he would have approved. 😌

My cousin, who was due to have a baby by the end of the week, ended up going into labor yesterday and delivered the first great-grand baby on our moms' side of the family. She's precious. 😍 I was so thrilled to have a new family member who shares Rick's birthday. It's almost like her birth commemorates his, in a way.

Yesterday brought up so many emotions. Sadness, joy, grief. I have a playlist containing the funeral songs of those we've lost that I listen to on days when it's hard. Not only was I missing and thinking of Rick, but I was thinking of all of the other family members we love and miss who won't see this baby - primarily, her great-grandparents and her uncle (Josh), who would have doted on her (and who she at times resembles). 😄 My mom and I kept marveling throughout the day at how much our lives have changed, and how much (rather, how many) we have lost, just in the last few years.

In the book of Job, Job lost everything he had when God allowed Satan to test him - his wealth, his health, all of his children, and the support of his wife and friends. When Job made it through his time of testing, faith hanging by a thread, God then restored his health and blessed him with more wealth than he had originally. He also gave him more children - seven sons and three daughters, as he had before. Wealth can be replaced, health can be restored, but nothing replaced the children that Job lost. A new child will never replace one miscarried. A new spouse will never replace one lost to cancer. New friends may come into your life, but they will never replace one you had to say goodbye to far too soon.

We may never know the reason God takes, and although He invites us to ask him, we must remember that He is God and His ways are higher. When Job repented for his challenges and accusations toward God, he said, "Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. Hear and I will speak; 'I will question you, and you make it known to me.' I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you." (Job 42:3b-5a).

My mom had predicted (in one of those baby shower games) that this little girl would bring some much needed joy to our family. In just the last few years, we have felt deeply the pain of God taking some of those most precious to us. But we have also seen Him give richly. Blessed be the name of the Lord. 🙏🏻

Psalm 27:13-14

Lamentations 3:31-33

Isaiah 35:6b

Revelation 21:4-5